As a child that grew up in a very toxic household, I have had an unregulated nervous system for as long as I can remember. Even in adulthood, I’d say I’ve had maybe 1-2 decent years of not being a ball of stress. As I approach my late 20’s (ugh)… My body is starting to fail me due to stress.

About two years ago, these random, overwhelming symptoms starting. It started with unregulated temperature, feeling hot with little exertion. Since then it has turned into so many more things. I have multiple types of face rashes, extreme heat intolerance, numb fingers/toes, etc. I’ve spent so much money on doctor visits, even traveling out of state to a clinic in desperation for help.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen 7 specialists in and still no diagnosis or symptom assist. Things are worsening and it feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. Which is crazy because I’ve been robbed at gun point!

A lot of my research and fixation on figuring out what the hell is wrong with me has led me to believe that chronic stress and unregulated nervous system can and likely has put my body into this constant attack on itself. I already had an autoimmune disease (alopecia) that appeared out of NO WHERE when I was approximately 11 yrs old. Great time for a tweenage girl to lose her HAIR RIGHT!!

Life sure loves to kick my ass. But for some reason talking about my embarrassing health issues makes me feel better. Maybe it helps me “normalize” it for the time being because when I get stuck in a spiral of “why is this happening to me” and “when will it end”, it’s a very deep hole to crawl out of.

Tomorrow is my 8th specialist and I don’t even bother being hopeful anymore. These health issues have altered my brain chemistry. I’ve lost joy. I’ve lost myself. I’ve lost the ability to feel hopeful.

It’s so unfair that I spent my childhood suffering thanks to the lovely parents I was blessed with (LOL) and now in my adulthood I have to suffer in an entirely new way. Things like this really make you appreciate the small stuff in life. Like going outside and not breaking out in hives or not dreading any and all fun things you used to love because you know you’re going to be uncomfortably warm.

So if you’re a pretty healthy person, that’s something to be grateful for today ❤